Does this sound like you lately?

If only I had ____, then I would be doing ____.

I can’t do ____ because I’m not ____ enough.

I don’t know what to do next and ____ is stopping me from figuring it out.

When you take your life into your own hands and decide you’re no longer going to accept the status quo, then your actions start to change. When your daily actions start to change, then your life changes too.

Answer these three questions and you’ll be clear on how to move into creating more feel-good days. 

That’s the first step to changing where you’re headed and what your life will look like in the future.

1) How do I want to feel right now?

This may seem simplistic, but allocate 10 minutes and get into detail. Move beyond “happy” and “successful.” Get into the details of how you want to feel throughout your day. Think about what feelings you want to have upon waking up, during your day and before bed at night. Does being loved and respected resonate with you? Do you want to feel you’ve helped others or built something every day? 

Write down 3 or more emotions that you would like to experience on a daily basis.

2) What makes me feel the way I want to feel?

List the different environments, people, places, activities, and topics that make you feel your desired feelings. These don't have to be practical or work related, and don’t have to “sound good.” This is for you. If knitting and making flan get you excited, write these activities down under this question. Being authentic about what you like to do and what makes you feel positive is the first step to finding lasting satisfaction.

3) What small change can I make today, right now? 5 4 3 2 1, GO!

Out of the list you created above, pick at least one thing that you can add to your day every day this week. It can be as small as making yourself a tea each morning. Tell someone close to you about this new goal and ask them to check in with you to ensure you remain accountable to this small change. Also, check in with yourself throughout the week and see how you feel after doing this new thing which is just for you.Once you’ve tried out this three step process, add another feel good activity to your week or day. If your concern is limited time ask yourself: “What do I dedicate time to that doesn’t make me feel positive and could be better utilized on different activities?"

Look out for the next part of this personal growth series that will focus on how to examine your personal story and move beyond any limiting beliefs that you have created for yourself.

Please share your thoughts or experience in our tribe using these questions to gain clarity and bring more positive feelings into your daily life, one step at a time!

It's a place for aspiring and seasoned millennial women who want to build lifestyle careers, work online & travel the world 

to get support, share advice and connect with other amazing women!

Our goal is to be a positive, encouraging and incredibly supportive community of Kickstart Knockouts!

We give and get support, feedback, celebrate wins and challenges inside the group.

Aspiring Kickstart Knockout? 

We'd love for you to start by introducing yourself & sharing your story with us.

We're here for you and are looking forward to seeing you inside!

Who do you listen to? Which opinions are valuable and which ones are pulling you away from what you truly want?

You can’t make good decisions for yourself if you’re always focused on what another person is saying. That’s anyone who gives you advice that they’re certain you should follow, or else. Or else what? If you don’t settle down, or become a lawyer, are you doomed to fail?

Following other people’s advice is a crutch, and it’s easy because then you’re not responsible for the outcome. If you want to live in a way that is personally fulfilling, you have to take responsibility for the choices you are making and your life's direction. That puts you back in control and makes you the only person responsible for your decisions.

We are given constant judgments and opinions throughout the day from strangers, media, friends and co-workers. It’s not a new concept that we’re inundated with ideas of how we should live every minute we’re awake.

So, what do you do about it?

When you’ve got to make a decision, and you’re not sure who exactly you’re making it for, take a minute alone. I mean no phone or Netflix in the background. Alone. Physically remove yourself from every outside source that is clouding your judgment.

Then consider this:

Our minds fool us all the time. Is this something you would do if no one else knew about it? Do you feel guilty about letting someone else down or being judged by them if you don’t make the “right” choice?

Be honest with yourself here, you’re the one who wins. Am I excited by the idea of going camping for the weekend with friends or is the beach more desirable? Does engineering or taking care of patients make me energized, or are those the safe choices that Dad wants me to make?

We constantly convince ourselves out of what we want. Don’t discredit your feelings. We’re told to be logical, except when you’ve been at a job for 6 months and never want to get out of bed in the morning, that says something logic might not identify.

It’s easy to tell yourself that something another person wants for you is actually what you want. When you think about being a lawyer, doctor or parent does that make you feel good/energized/positive, or do you feel wrong/bad/uneasy? Navigating these feelings is tough and takes some real guts. The good news is that you already have the answers, right now. All you have to do is be real with yourself about the feelings you have and make choices that keep your best interests in mind when it comes to the way you choose to live your life.

Try this once or twice and tell me I’m wrong when I say it feels amazing. Blow off the plans with the acquaintance that you’ve been dreading. Stay in and eat ice cream because you won’t enjoy being out at a club if it’s not where you truly want to be.

Oh, and the judgement from everyone else? They will absolutely get over it. If they don’t, it’s your life that you’re living, not theirs. More often than not if the people close to you see you happy that’s all they want anyway.

The more we make choices that resonate with us, feel good and are aligned with what is important to us, the more fulfilled we feel on a daily basis. Accepting responsibility for our life and the decisions we make also puts us back in the driver’s seat which gives us the power to do just about anything.

Sticking with your current decision-making process is giving you predictable results. 

I bet, deep down you know you could be doing better somehow.

What’s the missing piece? Authenticity.

Being real with yourself is where the process of changing your life starts.

Make a choice based on what you need today and let me know how it goes in the free KickStart Knockouts Tribe!!

Maybe you have big dreams. They may be deep down because people around you have also dimmed theirs, but you have them.

What stops you from achieving your biggest dreams and goals? What stifles some people into complacency, while others live the dream and take charge of their lives?

I’ve dedicated a lot of time to figuring out not only how to define your vision but how to get closer to it every single day.

Here are three actions I’ve discovered make it a lot easier to create the life you want, because it is possible for anyone with a little help*.

(*This means being committed to do what it takes in the long run. Overnight success usually takes an average of 7-10 years.)

Most societies have rituals, structures, and processes when it comes to different stages of life. Somehow, with our busy schedules and deadlines the sense of community in North America has been lost, especially when it matters most. Of course, most people show up to funerals and weddings, some show up to birthdays and anniversaries. But what happens day to day, as you take the small actions that lead to fulfilling your bigger vision? Do you have a community to depend on?

While we’re in school we have teachers and friends, we go on to work and we have departments and teams, but are those communities encouraging you to achieve your (authentic) life vision? Where is the community that will support you to pursue something that goes beyond the 9-5 assembly line and says it’s encouraged to design your career and lifestyle, on your terms?

When I first started business school, and again when I finished my coaching degree I thought I could create whatever I wanted on my own, that I didn’t need the support of anyone else to make it happen. I was severely wrong and hindered my progress for over a year because of my resistance to finding a community, and support.

No matter what school you’re in, or job you do, we all need a community that supports us to go beyond what we’re comfortable with and pursue our bigger goals.  Without that, you are at a severe disadvantage compared to those with a community that supports creating a life that is authentic to what is important to you.

Getting help doesn’t make you weak, it makes you stronger than the “tough” guy who thinks they can do it all alone. Who decided we have to post these perfect lives on Instagram and then actually navigate the challenges alone?

We all act like we have it figured out (I’m totally guilty of this) when really we’re all fearful of the unknown. There are many uncertain outcomes in our careers, relationships, and health. With coaching, I’ve worried about what people will think, what their judgments will be and if I should just do something conventional so I don’t ruffle too many feathers. The problem with that became that unless I went outside of the norm, and challenged the status quo, I didn’t feel good about the work I was doing. If I stayed on the conventional track, how could I support anyone to go after their big (scary) goals? When I started asking for help, found mentorship and truly realized that I don’t have to do everything on my own, everything became not only a little easier but actually more successful as well.

Maybe you want to be more productive, or start your own business. It may sound exciting to buy your first home, get that dream job or travel the world for a year. What separates people that reach their goals and those that continue to dream is the willingness to take small actions dailyto get there. Sustained effort over the long run is what creates change.

Take your big goals, the ones that seem too big to even get started and break them off into bite size pieces.

I want to buy a house in 5 years

I want to save more money this year

I save $ ___ of my weekly/daily income

I am applying to ___ jobs every day

I am researching new jobs/careers for ___ minutes every day

I wake up at ___ every day so I can be more productive

I go to the gym ___ times per week

By acting upon small daily changes, you make your way toward your goal. Instead of focusing on the end result shifting the focus ensures the small steps forward are being made.

When using these three strategies, you’re far more likely to follow through with that bigger vision. 

This may seem like common sense, but check in with yourself:

Do you have a community that supports what you’re working toward?

Is that goal authentic and if not, what community would support your authentic** goals and vision?

Have you asked for support with the parts of your vision you’re unsure about?

Have you set daily goals that will move you closer, one step at a time, to that bigger vision?

If you need support or have feedback, please reach out to me. 

I’m very interested to hear about how these three actions help you to live your dream life!